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Friday, February 26, 2010

To Go or Not to go...that is the Question?!?

Ok so I know that so many of you are just waiting to here my answer as to what I plan to do with my life. Well after several weeks of thinking and yes even some praying I decided that I wasn't going to go to Korea and that I was just going to move back home. Well that was my descion on Monday and I had put in the final sheet of paper for my chapter packet. So I officially announced to everyone that I was indeed going to be coming home. Well on Wednesday morning I received a phone call. From who you may be wondering? Well it was from Chaplain Lund he is the Installation Chaplain of Youngsan. He was very disappointed when he heard about my descion to leave the Army and we talked on the phone for about 45 min. That is when I learned that everything that was told to me by others was not true. That if I were to leave and go to Korea, Kason WOULD in fact be able to come with me. He also told me about the day care facility there and the hospital and medical benefits. He told me that I will be STAYING in Yongsan and NOT going to anywhere else in Korea. Which means I will be in the field hardly ever. So after that discussion I decided that Korea would be the best choice for Kason and I. I right away went to talk to Chaplain Wagner (my current chaplain) about this and he agreed with me 100%. So he sent out an email to our command to have my chapter packet pulled. I found out on Thursday morning that my packet was pulled and I immediately went down to my reenlistment office to discuss my options...before I knew tho MSG Shannon was in his Office putting together the paperwork I needed to sign and then I very nervously signed them all. So the answer to the long awaited question is YES I am going to Korea.

I reenlisted in the Army for another 4 years and I got $5300 for it. This my friends is a for sure thing. The paperwork is done and I cant get of it. Now I am sure that many of you are very sad, disappointed and possibly even worried for us. I too have so many mixed feelings about this whole situation. But I do feel it is whats BEST for Kason and I. Why you may be wondering? Take a look at this;

What happens if I stay in the Army and go to Korea
1) A GUARANTEED pay check on the 1st and the 15Th of EVERY month.
2) Medical benefits...if anything were to happen to Kason he would be totally and completely cared for.
3) This is really an adventure of a life time for the two of us.
Theres a lot more that can fall under this but these are some of the biggest reasons I decided to stay in.

OK lets look at this list now.
Leaving the Army and moving back to Chicago;
1) I wont have a guaranteed paycheck of the same amount coming every other week.
2) I may not be able to find a good job for a while.
3) We wont have any medical insurance and even if we did get some cheap kind of insurance a lot of money will still end up having to come out of pocket and it only ends up being another bill that we will just not be able to afford.
4) Possible regrets for not going to Korean and that is not how I want to live, with regrets.

So as you can all see at least I hope you see it. Korea and the Army IS whats best for not only me but Kason as well. Being a specially a Single parent requires you to make some sacrifices for your child. This was an extremely difficult descion for me to make. But this way I know that no matter what happens Kason will be cared for. Will I ever make a promise that I am moving back to Chicago again?!? No I wont because I don't know. My life...the military life is an unpredictable one. Who knows maybe the man of my future husband is waiting for me in Korea. No worries tho I don't plan on living in Korea forever. haha. So in that case my family situation would very much change. I do not plan to make the Army a career as of now...I want to settle down, get my college degree, get married, have more children, and be a stay at home mom until all my kids are going to school. That is what I hope for and there is very good possibility that life will be with a man in the Army. If that is truly the case then I will be moving around all over the place. Now of course if that does not happen then yes I think I may be moving back to Chicago but again I wont make that a promise because only time will tell.

I know that so many of you want to be a part of Kasons life and I want you to be apart of it and I also want to be a part of your children's life. I promise you that no matter where in the world I may be I will do my best to keep you in Kasons life...send you pictures, web cam, keep updated blogs and pictures on his website, visit you all when I can. As disappointing to some of you as this may be I hope that you can see that it is whats best for us...and I think that it is Gods plan for us as well. So all I ask that you support us both because that is what we need more than ever right now. These next couple weeks/months are going to be very stressful for me. With tons of paperwork and packing plus taking care of Kason on top of it. Once we actually get to Korea tho and we get settled in all will be good I think. I am doing what I feel is best...and as stressed out and as miserable as I have been while I have been in the Army it did give me one wonderful thing already and that is Kason Alexander...maybe the Army has something else wonderful waiting for me in Korea....but I will never know unless I go. I am doing what many people have told me to I am not going to judge the Army by the first shitty duty station they put me at. I will give it one more shot...and I will become the best Soldier that I possibly can be. It's time I put on my big girl boots and do the job I signed up to do.

I cant wait to see what kinds of adventures await us in Korea!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

My weekend

So this weekend was really good for Kason and I and also very relaxing. We started it off on Friday when I had to work Coffee House and although I hate being there I have to go...but Kason gets passed around so much and people enjoying being around him and seeing him. I love to show off my baby boy. So after Coffee House Kason and I went to Josies to spend the night and that was fun we had some pizza watched a movie and I kind of fell asleep early. lol. On Saturday we woke up went to Olive Garden for lunch and then we went on post so that we could celebrate Miss Delaney's first Birthday. That was fun but also somewhat awkward since I do not know neither Emily's family or Johnathon's Family but I just love being around that little girl. She is such a fun loving baby girl and although I did not become real close with her parents Emily and Jonathon till she was about 6 months or so I feel like I have watched her grow up from day one. I remember first meeting her at about 2 or 3 weeks old in ICO (installation chaplains office) she was so little and just adorable. Now I feel like I went to sleep and woke up and she is a year old...they say a year does go by fast and I will say Delaney is proof of that and Kason is following quickly behind. The picture on the left is Delaney devouring her birthday cake. :) So anyways enough about Delaney...on to the rest of the weekend. So after the party we headed back to my house and hung out (Josie and Jeremy) for a little bit I got kasons stuff together so that we could go back to there house and spend another night. When we got back to their place we had ribs and mashed potatoes at like 10pm for dinner then went and watched the Time Travelers Wife again...which is one of my most favorite movies. I did fall asleep kind of early tho. lol. So this morning when we woke up we stayed for a little while and then me and Kason went home. We ended our Sunday with an evening walk because it was just way to beautiful not to.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Whats to Come for Kason and I

Well this week my unit has started to do all of my paperwork for my chapter. There are so many weird emotions and feelings that I have but I know that deep down in my heart my descion to get out is what is best for both me and Kason. I couldn't Imagine every being separated from my previous baby boy. He is my heart and soul. So anyways if everything goes well with my chapter than I should be out of the Army by mid to late march and we will be on the road to Chicago to live with my sister. First we will be making a pit stop in Cincinnati, OH to visit my aunt and uncle who I haven't seen a couple of years and we will most likely stay there for a couple of days. Then I will finish out my trip to Chicago. So this next month between Army stuff and packing and what not will be pretty hectic...not to mention spending time with the great friends that I have made here in South Carolina.

Well onto other things going in my life. My sister came and payed a visit with Kason and I for 2 weeks. It was really nice to have her here. She spent time with Kason while I worked, we went out for my 21st birthday. That's right I turned 21!!!

That's me with one of my first legal drinks, an Appletini and boy was that good!

Another thing we all did was take Kason to the zoo and he seemed to really enjoy that...well at times. He did get fussy a little bit towards the end, I guess he got sleepy. Here is my favorite picture we took of him there...its him on a lion that you see right when you walk in. OK now and one of the last things that we all got to experience was the "blizzard of 2010 in Columbia, South Carolina". haha, OK well maybe it wasn't a blizzard but for South Carolinians it was very much a blizzard because they have never experienced snow...well very little of it at least. It was pretty entertaining watching some of my neighbors walk in it...obviously they have never had to before. lol. Well I was so happy that Chrissy got to experience Kason's first snowfall with him even though she wanted to get away from it all. We went outside and took lots of pictures to help us remember this great night. I had been praying and hoping for snow in South Carolina all winter...but I really wanted it on Christmas day, who am I to complain tho? We did get some at least. Well here is a picture of the 3 of us I feel like it was such a magical even caused Chrissy's plane to get cancelled on that we got another day with her. Spending so much time with her made me look forward to moving in with her. This was the first time in YEARS that we have ever been together for more than a night or two. I am very excited to be sharing Kasons life with her...and so happy that she will be able to watch him grow up and turn into the outstanding man he is destined to become. :) Well I think this is all I have to say for today. Hopefully I will be able to keep this up more often...but we will see how that goes. Lots of Love from your two favorite people...Lexi and Kason!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

So much has changed.

Well today is Feb 10th 2010 and I have just discovered this blog. Haha I completely forgot about it and I created it about a year and a half ago. Well lets see sooo much has changed since I last wrote I dont even know where to start.

Ok lets start with my most life changing event. On November 14th 2009 at 8:15am I became a mother to a handsome 7lbs 15oz 22in long baby boy named Kason Alexander. He is the love of my life and everything I could have asked for. Its been a ruff road but a road that I am glad I took and I wouldnt change it for the world. Kasons father is not in the picture and prolly never will be...but Im happy being a single mother. One day I will find Kason a great father but I am in no rush to as we are both doing great without a man around.
Well when I created this blog I said I was in the army which this present day is still true but I will soon be leaving the army hopefully within the next month due to them trying to send me off to Korea without Kason I am taking the family care plan chapter. Its going to be hard out in the civillian world I think but its worth it as long as I am by Kason everyday of his most precious life.
I am no longer speaking to my father and step mother but that is a long story in itself. But some background to it all is that they did not approve of my having Kason and called him a mistake. My step mother said a lot of hurtful things to me and wont even discuss it with me and the final straw with them was when I was told that I am not allowed to speak to my younger brother. So thats just a brief summary.
Well this is just some updates from my life as it stands today. I do have soo much more but I am going to go update Kasons webpage. If you want you can check it out and learn all about him.
Peace out people!!