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Friday, February 26, 2010

To Go or Not to go...that is the Question?!?

Ok so I know that so many of you are just waiting to here my answer as to what I plan to do with my life. Well after several weeks of thinking and yes even some praying I decided that I wasn't going to go to Korea and that I was just going to move back home. Well that was my descion on Monday and I had put in the final sheet of paper for my chapter packet. So I officially announced to everyone that I was indeed going to be coming home. Well on Wednesday morning I received a phone call. From who you may be wondering? Well it was from Chaplain Lund he is the Installation Chaplain of Youngsan. He was very disappointed when he heard about my descion to leave the Army and we talked on the phone for about 45 min. That is when I learned that everything that was told to me by others was not true. That if I were to leave and go to Korea, Kason WOULD in fact be able to come with me. He also told me about the day care facility there and the hospital and medical benefits. He told me that I will be STAYING in Yongsan and NOT going to anywhere else in Korea. Which means I will be in the field hardly ever. So after that discussion I decided that Korea would be the best choice for Kason and I. I right away went to talk to Chaplain Wagner (my current chaplain) about this and he agreed with me 100%. So he sent out an email to our command to have my chapter packet pulled. I found out on Thursday morning that my packet was pulled and I immediately went down to my reenlistment office to discuss my options...before I knew tho MSG Shannon was in his Office putting together the paperwork I needed to sign and then I very nervously signed them all. So the answer to the long awaited question is YES I am going to Korea.

I reenlisted in the Army for another 4 years and I got $5300 for it. This my friends is a for sure thing. The paperwork is done and I cant get of it. Now I am sure that many of you are very sad, disappointed and possibly even worried for us. I too have so many mixed feelings about this whole situation. But I do feel it is whats BEST for Kason and I. Why you may be wondering? Take a look at this;

What happens if I stay in the Army and go to Korea
1) A GUARANTEED pay check on the 1st and the 15Th of EVERY month.
2) Medical benefits...if anything were to happen to Kason he would be totally and completely cared for.
3) This is really an adventure of a life time for the two of us.
Theres a lot more that can fall under this but these are some of the biggest reasons I decided to stay in.

OK lets look at this list now.
Leaving the Army and moving back to Chicago;
1) I wont have a guaranteed paycheck of the same amount coming every other week.
2) I may not be able to find a good job for a while.
3) We wont have any medical insurance and even if we did get some cheap kind of insurance a lot of money will still end up having to come out of pocket and it only ends up being another bill that we will just not be able to afford.
4) Possible regrets for not going to Korean and that is not how I want to live, with regrets.

So as you can all see at least I hope you see it. Korea and the Army IS whats best for not only me but Kason as well. Being a specially a Single parent requires you to make some sacrifices for your child. This was an extremely difficult descion for me to make. But this way I know that no matter what happens Kason will be cared for. Will I ever make a promise that I am moving back to Chicago again?!? No I wont because I don't know. My life...the military life is an unpredictable one. Who knows maybe the man of my future husband is waiting for me in Korea. No worries tho I don't plan on living in Korea forever. haha. So in that case my family situation would very much change. I do not plan to make the Army a career as of now...I want to settle down, get my college degree, get married, have more children, and be a stay at home mom until all my kids are going to school. That is what I hope for and there is very good possibility that life will be with a man in the Army. If that is truly the case then I will be moving around all over the place. Now of course if that does not happen then yes I think I may be moving back to Chicago but again I wont make that a promise because only time will tell.

I know that so many of you want to be a part of Kasons life and I want you to be apart of it and I also want to be a part of your children's life. I promise you that no matter where in the world I may be I will do my best to keep you in Kasons life...send you pictures, web cam, keep updated blogs and pictures on his website, visit you all when I can. As disappointing to some of you as this may be I hope that you can see that it is whats best for us...and I think that it is Gods plan for us as well. So all I ask that you support us both because that is what we need more than ever right now. These next couple weeks/months are going to be very stressful for me. With tons of paperwork and packing plus taking care of Kason on top of it. Once we actually get to Korea tho and we get settled in all will be good I think. I am doing what I feel is best...and as stressed out and as miserable as I have been while I have been in the Army it did give me one wonderful thing already and that is Kason Alexander...maybe the Army has something else wonderful waiting for me in Korea....but I will never know unless I go. I am doing what many people have told me to I am not going to judge the Army by the first shitty duty station they put me at. I will give it one more shot...and I will become the best Soldier that I possibly can be. It's time I put on my big girl boots and do the job I signed up to do.

I cant wait to see what kinds of adventures await us in Korea!

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