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Sunday, May 16, 2010

Bye-Bye SC

So for the last 2 and 1/2 years I have known nothing else about the army except Fort Jackson. To say it sucked would be an understatement but being here I have grown and matured and I want to say alot more than a lot of the people that I associated with in High School have. With those people though we have gone our seperate ways and I am ok with that. I have hated Fort Jackson and I have been miserable here but there were a few AMAZING things that have happened to me here. Like Kason had I not come here I wouldnt have been blessed with this AMAZING little boy who has changed my life forever. I mean I really dont have to say on here that I love him because if you know me and we talk often you already know that I do and that I would anything and everything to protect him and care for him. I would die for him.

I am so thankful for some of the friends that I have made here. Esspecially Josie. I wish we had become friends sooner but during this last year that we have been she has been there for me through the good and the bad...and she stood by my side for the 13 hours of hell kason put me through during labor and delivery. She is the greatest friend I have had. I am going to miss her so much. She always had a shoulder ready and available during all of my arguments with my parents. She gave me a place to stay not just once but a second time as well. She is most defintly a friend I never want to loose. I mean she has a connection with Kason and I that no one else does. Just because she was there the second he was born. No one can ever replace Kasons Aunt Josie and I want her to remember that. :)

Then there is Jenn. We didnt meet until January and I am sad that happened I wish it was sooner. We had a little spif not to long ago but we were both pretty stressed at the time. But regardless I am glad that we are friends and that we met. She has taken some awesome pictures of mr. kason. I am going to miss her so much as well.

Then there are the friends that I have made here that I havent seen in a while or even talked to but they have all had a major impact on my life.

There is so many people that I could talk about but I dont want to make this post super long. But you know who you are and just know that I am going to miss you all dearly and I do hope that one day our paths do cross again.

Well I am starting to get teary eyed...goodbyes are never easy to do. So I am going to stop here I still have a day and a half left here so im not going to get sad just yet.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

The people that make my life amazing

So a little while ago Kayla wrote a blog about the people in her life that make it the way it is today and I thought that it was an awesome idea and decided to steal it. So here we go...all these people are extremely important to me and mean the world to me with out them I know I would not be the person I am today.

Josie- Well where to begin with this girl. I have known her since 2007 and yet we really didn't become friends until last year. She helped me out last year when I needed a place to stay. She knew I was pregnant with Kason before I did. She said I had "the glow". She was there for me on the most important day of my life...the Day Kason was born. She allowed me to come back and live with her again as again and I are getting ready to head to Korea. We can talk and debate on stuff and say mean or bitchy things to each other and it wont affect our friendship. She helped me deal with all of the drama with my crazy freaking parents. She was there for me through it all and I wouldn't change any of it for the world. She is and always will be one of the bestest and greatest friends I have ever had and she always will be. She has even earned the title of being Kasons "aunt". But I mean she is the only person that has been there for me since day one. Not saying that others weren't there for me but she was physically and emotionally there for me and for that I am eternally grateful for. I just only hope that one day I can be there for her as she labors and gives birth with her future child as she did for me.

Jamie- Jamie Stell....Oh what can I say about this girl. She is an amazing person and I love her to death. We met freshman year of HS on the bus....and we instantly became friends. She was there for me through so much. I hate to say that our friendship is not as strong or as great as I wish it was because my step-mother decided she hated her for no reason and forbid me to hang out and talk to her. Of course her evil plan did not work that well...we were still great friends at school but once graduation came around we both took very different paths in life. But the one thing we do have in common now is that we are mothers to the 2 most amazing and handsome boys ever born. Raiden was born on December 3, 2009 2 weeks after Kason. I know that her pregnancy with Raiden wasn't as easy as mine was with Kason but its because of that that makes her such a strong person. She went through so much quickly after Raiden was born and I was so upset that I was not able to be there for her...but she is doing great and getting and her feet back on the ground..I have yet to meet Raiden and I haven't seen Jamie since High School. OMG cant believe its been that long. But we still talk pretty often and I know that she is the most amazing mother to Raiden and he is so very lucky to have her as his mommy.

Ashely- well we have been friends sophomore year and we had our ups and downs. She had her son Kaiden about a month and a half after Kason was born. I hope that once they do meet that they do click really well. I miss her tons...and when we are together its like a freaking PARTY! We have many great memories together and I hope for a tons more...even though with the distance we have we don't talk as much as we used to you never be able to guess that when i am home and we are together.

Kayla-Well between the 3 of us (me, Ashley, and Kay) we make up the 3 musketeers. We are wild and energetic together...and the greatest of friends. Me and Kayla have a bond together that no one can take away. We are the best of the best. We met in 7th grade and really hated each other then...but then we became closer and closer. Oh god have we had out fights though. Everything from boys to whatever you can possibly think of. We are two completely different people but yet the same. We both took different paths in life after graduating High school but we still remain closer than we ever have been. The distance does not hurt us...and even though she has not even met Kason yet she is still Kasons Auntie Kiwa. I could go on and on about how important Kayla is to fact I could write a book even about our entire drama filled friendship but I am going to stop here. I think you all get the picture.

Peter- My big brother...and the greatest big brother might I add. Our relationship is and aalways has been kind of weird. Being that our parents are just nuts. He moved out of the house when he was 17 and lived with his now wife Melaine. We had our arguments growing up...but these days we are getting closer and closer we talk a lot more often and I know that he worries about me and he misses me tons just as I miss him. Him and Melaine have given me two beautiful nieces Mila born in November 2005 and Averie born this past march. The are amazing little girls. I cant wait till the day that I get to see Averie for the first time and hold her and kiss her....just as much as I cant wait for peter and Melaine to meet and hold Kason. I know peter is pretty darn happy to finally be an Uncle. :)

Chrissy-AKA Sissy. She is my best best friend. Really we have such an amazing bond as sisters its crazy. Growing up and having a 10 year age difference it was hard...we weren't ever really close. But as I got older we got closer and closer. Even when I joined the Army we still only became closer rather than further apart. She was there for me when I graduated High School, graduated Basic and came to visit me here in SC only a few days after Kason was born. She is so happy to have him as a nephew and he is in love with his Auntski. She came up again in February to celebrate my 21st birthday and of course to see Kason and again in March. Those were some of the best times we had to get together I think and I miss her so much when we aren't together especially after having spent so much time together again this year. It is going to be extremely hard when Kason and I go to Korea in the next months or so but I am so excited that she is planning a trip to come visit us once in September and again in March.

Kason...Kason Alexander...Oh yes Kason Alexander. My baby boy the best god given gift ever. The best present I ever got...the most amazing little boy I have ever met. He makes me world a million times brighter. He makes me smile every second of the day. When I'm not with him...I cant help but think about him...and the time that I get reunited with him again. Yes it might sound weird to some...but its the truth. It hurts so bad to be apart. He constantly makes me laugh with his funny faces. He is the most well behaved baby ever. when he giggles I giggle...when he smiles I smile. I can never be in a super crappy mood when I have him in my arms. I cant ever even imagine my life without him and sometimes I can hardly remember my life before him. I have never been so in love with anyone. The love between a mother and her child is greater than any other kind. Kason comes first in my life and he always will. Every choice and every descion I make is for him. I am proud to say that I am Kason Alexander Skibinski's mommy. <3>
Alright well this is NOT everyone who is important in my life there are many more people but this post took me long enough as it was. hehe. Maybe one of these days I will write about them. But these are the great people that are active in my life every single day and the ones that I hold dear to my heart and love more than anything.

Friday, April 9, 2010

To say that this week has been stressful would be an understatement in itself. One thing after another keeps happening. I still have not the slightest idea as to when and or if I will be coming to Chicago nor do I have any Idea when I will have to report to Korea. My first deferment got denied and we re did another one for 60 days. All I can do at this point is pray and hope that it goes through. But I refuse to get my hopes up only to let my heart get crushed AGAIN later on.

This past week my uncle Jeff passed away after spending several years fighting the evil monster that the medical professionals like to call "Cancer" I am very saddened by this. I haven't seen him since 2007 and its hard to come to the realization that I never will again. I am unable to make to his funeral even which is this weekend. I so badly wanted him to meet Kason before he took his trip to Heaven but it obviously did not turn out that way. We hadn't known each other for very long being that he is my step uncle...but we had a better relationship than I do with any of my biological uncles. All I have left is very few memories...but I am glad that even though there are only a few there are some. He was a tremendous man and a fighter. He fought this beast so hard and its sad that he lost...but I guess God decided it was time to bring him home. Rest In Peace Uncle Jeff. I miss you dearly.

Something else that has happened this week is that Kason and I moved out of our very first home. It was a bitter sweet good bye. I mean after all it was the first place that I ever lived completely on my own and his very first home. The movers came on Monday and Tuesday to pack and get all of our stuff to have it sent off to Korea. In the meantime Kason and I are staying with Josie and Jeremy.
Well I think that's all I have to say for now. But stay tuned because there will be more to come. Especially when I find out my report date to Korea.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Busy busy March

Well everyone this past month has been pretty crazy. With me deciding that Korea would be whats best for Kason and I and then making sure I get everything squared away before hand. At the beginning of March I had to go and get the command sponsorship packet ready and put in and that was just approved this past Tuesday. So what that means is that Kason is officially coming with me to Korea and that will be put in my orders. Along with that though I had to put in a deferment so that my orders get pushed back a month so instead of me reporting on April 12th I have until May 12th. Which leaves me some time to go back to Chicago and see my family. Its still kind of scary because May is right around the corner and I have so much I have to do it feels like. Hadley anytime to breath as it is. I kind of just cant wait to get there so that Kason and I can settle in and get adjusted to a routine. I also would like to add that yesterday I did get my PCS award, which was the Army Achievement Medal. :) It was nice to be recognized. Well that's whats going on in the army world.

In the civilian world in which my family and friends reside there have been many exciting things happen there. To start of my sister came back to Visit Kason and I for 2 weeks and we had lots of fun together...I got a bit more time off work this time than I did last time. We went to Charleston for a Marriage retreat...of course Chrissy didn't participate in that she just watched Kason. lol But while we were there we went to the Aquarium and the took a boat ride out to Fort Sumter and did lots of shopping. Well actually I think I did the most. haha. But we had a great time and I love spending every second with my sister that I can. I also love seeing her and Kason bond. I know that Kason loves her very much and I know she loves him as well.
The picture the left here is Chrissy, Kason, and I at the Charleston Aquarium. The picture on the right is Chrissy and Kason at Fort Sumter. Some other very exciting news is that on March 18th my friend Sam gave birth to her beautiful daughter Leila Ryan. I wish I could have been there to see them both but soon enough I will be and I am very excited to do so. But the best news of all in my family is that on March 23rd (one day shy of Chrissy's birthday) my 2nd niece came into the world. Her name is Averie Juliette and just a precious baby girl. I am so happy for my brother, sister in law and of course my other niece who is now a big sissy Mila. Here is a picture of my stunningly beautiful Niece A.J.
Alright well that is pretty much all of the exciting news that I have for today. Well except that I finally got my tattoo for Kason. Which is amazing. It is 2 butterfly's one is small and blue and that one represents Kason and the other is big and pink and that represents me. Mommy butterfly flying to her baby and then I also got his name and birthday on my shoulder as well. Here are the pictures of them.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Chrissy is back

So last Thursday Chrissy came back for another visit. She got free tickets because her plane got cancelled the last time she was here. So she decided to use them on us. Unfortunately though during her trip Kason has been pretty sick. He has bronchitis. :( It is no fun any of us. He is really congested and plain old miserable. It took us forever last night to get him to fall asleep. He still does smile and talk a lot though and he is taking his first "sickness" like a trooper and I am very proud of him. He will be going to the Dr. on Tuesday to get his second round of just sucks that he is prolly going to be sick while he is getting them.

Well even with Kason being sick and all (well actually it was before it got as bad as it is now) Jenn came back by and took some more pictures of us all with him. I was so didn't last for very long because he started to act up a little bit. But we did manage to get some GREAT outdoor pics (outside of the apt...his "first" home). Some of me, him, and Chrissy. Josie even joined in to for some. She is such a great photographer and I love all her pictures. She is going to make me go broke. lol I wish I could take her to Korea with us. haha

This picture here on the left is me and him right outside our door.

Well lets see I think I did get a little bit ahead of myself while I was talking about this past weekend. So let me rewind a little bit. The day before Jenn took pictures we went over to Josie and Jeremy's house (Friday night I believe it was)My sister, Kason and I were there along with Jen, Jason, and Madison. Well and of course Josie and Jeremy. lol But we hung out had some dinner and sat around and talked for a was a lot of fun and pretty relaxing. Madison sat down and sang Kason Twinkle Twinkle little star and she told him about the story of the 3 bears I believe. It was so cute because Kason layed there and looked at Maddi the whole time. Jenn took some sweet pictures of course and I have to receive them but when I do you will see them I promise. :)

Alright now so back to this week. It has been a pretty boring week aside from Kason being sick and me working. haha. There hasn't really been to much going on aside for making the final schedule and what not for my Battalions marriage/family retreat this weekend. We are going to downtown Charleston and yes Chrissy and Kason are coming I am very excited...hopefully Kason is feeling better so we can go out and have some fun and hopefully this darn weather corporates with us.

The last thing that I will talk about for this blog is Layla Grace. A few weeks ago I heard of a story of Layla Grace and young and beautiful 2 year old who was fighting a beast. A beast the doctors call Cancer. She had Stage 4 high risk neuroblastoma. This is a type of cancer only infants can get and she was diagnose with it at the young age of 19 months. For a year almost now she had been battling this beast and as I sat and read all the tweets her parents had on twitter and all the blog posts they had about what was going on with her I couldn't help but cry. This young girl was quickly loosing her battle and as of yesterday morning she passed away. She has grown her wings and flown away with the Angels to Heaven. Her story as touched my life and changed me forever. Its insane how quickly a wonderful child can come into this world and how quickly they can be taken away. She is a strong little lady and I am glad that she is finally pain free...and I pray so hard for her mom and dad and sisters during this very trying time. As I write this even tears roll down my face. I love this girl so very much and I don't even know her...but my heart is breaking for her family. I thank god everyday for the precious gift he gave me when allowing me to have Kason...he is the best thing to ever happen to me and I cant imagine ever loosing him. But Layla's story has taught me to treat everyday like its our cherish every smile, every laugh, every hug everything and anything. You never know when something may happen. Rest In Peace beautiful Angel.

Friday, February 26, 2010

To Go or Not to go...that is the Question?!?

Ok so I know that so many of you are just waiting to here my answer as to what I plan to do with my life. Well after several weeks of thinking and yes even some praying I decided that I wasn't going to go to Korea and that I was just going to move back home. Well that was my descion on Monday and I had put in the final sheet of paper for my chapter packet. So I officially announced to everyone that I was indeed going to be coming home. Well on Wednesday morning I received a phone call. From who you may be wondering? Well it was from Chaplain Lund he is the Installation Chaplain of Youngsan. He was very disappointed when he heard about my descion to leave the Army and we talked on the phone for about 45 min. That is when I learned that everything that was told to me by others was not true. That if I were to leave and go to Korea, Kason WOULD in fact be able to come with me. He also told me about the day care facility there and the hospital and medical benefits. He told me that I will be STAYING in Yongsan and NOT going to anywhere else in Korea. Which means I will be in the field hardly ever. So after that discussion I decided that Korea would be the best choice for Kason and I. I right away went to talk to Chaplain Wagner (my current chaplain) about this and he agreed with me 100%. So he sent out an email to our command to have my chapter packet pulled. I found out on Thursday morning that my packet was pulled and I immediately went down to my reenlistment office to discuss my options...before I knew tho MSG Shannon was in his Office putting together the paperwork I needed to sign and then I very nervously signed them all. So the answer to the long awaited question is YES I am going to Korea.

I reenlisted in the Army for another 4 years and I got $5300 for it. This my friends is a for sure thing. The paperwork is done and I cant get of it. Now I am sure that many of you are very sad, disappointed and possibly even worried for us. I too have so many mixed feelings about this whole situation. But I do feel it is whats BEST for Kason and I. Why you may be wondering? Take a look at this;

What happens if I stay in the Army and go to Korea
1) A GUARANTEED pay check on the 1st and the 15Th of EVERY month.
2) Medical benefits...if anything were to happen to Kason he would be totally and completely cared for.
3) This is really an adventure of a life time for the two of us.
Theres a lot more that can fall under this but these are some of the biggest reasons I decided to stay in.

OK lets look at this list now.
Leaving the Army and moving back to Chicago;
1) I wont have a guaranteed paycheck of the same amount coming every other week.
2) I may not be able to find a good job for a while.
3) We wont have any medical insurance and even if we did get some cheap kind of insurance a lot of money will still end up having to come out of pocket and it only ends up being another bill that we will just not be able to afford.
4) Possible regrets for not going to Korean and that is not how I want to live, with regrets.

So as you can all see at least I hope you see it. Korea and the Army IS whats best for not only me but Kason as well. Being a specially a Single parent requires you to make some sacrifices for your child. This was an extremely difficult descion for me to make. But this way I know that no matter what happens Kason will be cared for. Will I ever make a promise that I am moving back to Chicago again?!? No I wont because I don't know. My life...the military life is an unpredictable one. Who knows maybe the man of my future husband is waiting for me in Korea. No worries tho I don't plan on living in Korea forever. haha. So in that case my family situation would very much change. I do not plan to make the Army a career as of now...I want to settle down, get my college degree, get married, have more children, and be a stay at home mom until all my kids are going to school. That is what I hope for and there is very good possibility that life will be with a man in the Army. If that is truly the case then I will be moving around all over the place. Now of course if that does not happen then yes I think I may be moving back to Chicago but again I wont make that a promise because only time will tell.

I know that so many of you want to be a part of Kasons life and I want you to be apart of it and I also want to be a part of your children's life. I promise you that no matter where in the world I may be I will do my best to keep you in Kasons life...send you pictures, web cam, keep updated blogs and pictures on his website, visit you all when I can. As disappointing to some of you as this may be I hope that you can see that it is whats best for us...and I think that it is Gods plan for us as well. So all I ask that you support us both because that is what we need more than ever right now. These next couple weeks/months are going to be very stressful for me. With tons of paperwork and packing plus taking care of Kason on top of it. Once we actually get to Korea tho and we get settled in all will be good I think. I am doing what I feel is best...and as stressed out and as miserable as I have been while I have been in the Army it did give me one wonderful thing already and that is Kason Alexander...maybe the Army has something else wonderful waiting for me in Korea....but I will never know unless I go. I am doing what many people have told me to I am not going to judge the Army by the first shitty duty station they put me at. I will give it one more shot...and I will become the best Soldier that I possibly can be. It's time I put on my big girl boots and do the job I signed up to do.

I cant wait to see what kinds of adventures await us in Korea!

Sunday, February 21, 2010

My weekend

So this weekend was really good for Kason and I and also very relaxing. We started it off on Friday when I had to work Coffee House and although I hate being there I have to go...but Kason gets passed around so much and people enjoying being around him and seeing him. I love to show off my baby boy. So after Coffee House Kason and I went to Josies to spend the night and that was fun we had some pizza watched a movie and I kind of fell asleep early. lol. On Saturday we woke up went to Olive Garden for lunch and then we went on post so that we could celebrate Miss Delaney's first Birthday. That was fun but also somewhat awkward since I do not know neither Emily's family or Johnathon's Family but I just love being around that little girl. She is such a fun loving baby girl and although I did not become real close with her parents Emily and Jonathon till she was about 6 months or so I feel like I have watched her grow up from day one. I remember first meeting her at about 2 or 3 weeks old in ICO (installation chaplains office) she was so little and just adorable. Now I feel like I went to sleep and woke up and she is a year old...they say a year does go by fast and I will say Delaney is proof of that and Kason is following quickly behind. The picture on the left is Delaney devouring her birthday cake. :) So anyways enough about Delaney...on to the rest of the weekend. So after the party we headed back to my house and hung out (Josie and Jeremy) for a little bit I got kasons stuff together so that we could go back to there house and spend another night. When we got back to their place we had ribs and mashed potatoes at like 10pm for dinner then went and watched the Time Travelers Wife again...which is one of my most favorite movies. I did fall asleep kind of early tho. lol. So this morning when we woke up we stayed for a little while and then me and Kason went home. We ended our Sunday with an evening walk because it was just way to beautiful not to.